Drunk Calls

I will start this by saying that I am aware that an adult has every right to drink whatever and however many alcoholic beverages as they’d like to do so….safely. I do not judge one for drinking. I do, however, judge you if you’re doing so and it negatively effects your children or mine, and yes, I do and will always consider Natalie and Zoe “mine”, even if not by birth.

We were often stuck with listening to drunken phone calls from DB the earlier years. Thankfully, after a number of them being documented and discussed with past therapists, we were able to change things so that she couldn’t call anymore due to the fact that it was negatively impacting the girls’ mental well-being.

I’ll give you just one example of the many calls we had gotten like this.

Dad, myself and all of the girls were sitting at the table playing a card game. I can actually remember specifically that we were playing Spoons, which we did a lot. DB called at 7:00, which was the designated time she could call. Natalie answered the phone and Dad and I could instantly notice the slurred speech, but we just glanced at each other and went back to talking to Sierra and Kiley. DB spoke for a short time before she told Natalie “I am just so lost when you girls aren’t home. I don’t even know what do do!” and then proceeded to say “So I came up to the lake with some friends. I bet you wish you were here instead, huh?” which, yet again (if you’ve read previous posts, you understand the again), put Natalie in a position where she felt torn. She either say yes and make her dad feel bad that she said she’d rather be with her mom, or say no and have her mom said that she would rather be with her dad. Not a position a child should be put in ever.

Next up was the friend. We aren’t sure who the friend was that grabbed the phone to say hi, but she drove it home for the girls’ that their mom is lost without them. She told them “Your mom was so lonely without you that she had to come up here to try and have some fun.” And there was the guilt. I had always known the girls worried about their mom when they were home, and this was why. We also knew that she said things like this to them before they’d leave to come home to us, because they openly admitted that to therapists in the past. They felt so guilty that they were leaving their grown mother alone.

After that call, Dad immediately sent DB a message and told her how inappropriate that was of her to do, and explained why. All she could even muster up for a reply was “Sorry you feel that way.”

This woman cannot even see the damage she has done and continues to do to her children, even when it is explained to her!