Throughout the years, we had noticed that anything the girls had from our home, if it ended up making it’s way to DB’s house, it would disappear. Dad used to have the thought that the items belong to the kids, so if they want to bring things back and forth, they should be able to. In theory, that is exactly how it should work. Instead, we had to start having the kids make sure any personal items didn’t make their way back to DB’s house with them. Earrings that we bought for Natalie disappeared. Clothing, and a lot of it, never got returned. Pictures of their sisters went “missing” from their bags.
One Christmas, I purchased and gifted both Natalie and Zoe a bracelet that had a quote engraved inside. It read “I may not have given you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you.” They loved their bracelets. Natalie wore it a lot, and unfortunately we had to make her take it off the days she would be heading back home to her mom’s. We always remembered to remind her… until the one time we were in a rush and forgot. The following week, Dad realized Natalie wasn’t wearing it. It wouldn’t have been something he would usually notice but she had been wearing it pretty regularly prior. He asked her where her bracelet was (mainly just trying to make sure it went back into her jewelry box and didn’t lost it). She told us that she accidentally wore it back to her mom’s and she couldn’t find it. Dad told her that next time she’s back at her mom’s, to try and find it, and the conversation ended. We weren’t going to make her feel bad for it. We weren’t going to harp on her.
The time came for her to head home to her mom’s and they were there for a few days. When she came home, Dad asked her if she found her bracelet, and her reply was “Mom told me to tell you that you can ask her where it is.”
Dad sent her a message asking her to please return the bracelet, and that it’s an important thing to Natalie to keep. She replied with how we need to keep any sentimental items in our home and that we won’t be getting the “stupid bracelet” back.
This bracelet isn’t the only thing this has happened to. Like previously stated, earrings went missing, clothing and pictures. In addition to that, anytime Dad and I had gone on any vacations, with or without the kids, we got them keychains. The kids loved having them on their backpacks, but every single time they put the keychains on their backpacks, the keychains would disappear and new ones that DB bought would appear in place of the ones from us. I once made a “back to school” basket for Natalie and Zoe. It included a lot of items; hair ties, markers, notebooks, pencils, hair clips, keychain chapstick, and more. They were both so excited about their chapstick that they had to put them on their backpacks. Shocker – they disappeared. Natalie actually came home and cried because she wanted it on her backpack. I went and got her a new one and at that point, we had the girls switch them to their suitcases that they use when we go to the lake house on camping. Having to limit the things they are able to take from our home in fear that DB will destroy or throw it away is not acceptable. We had explained to DB that these items belong to the kids and shouldn’t be taken away or destroyed. They often came home from DB’s with stuff from there, and those items always got returned when the kids went back to her. They even brought teddy bears with tshirts that had pictures of DB’s face on it. We did nothing other than let them keep them in their room until they went back to their mom’s, as it should be. We only wished it could have been that way on both sides.