In previous years, we sent all of the kids to daycare in the summer. During the summer that I was pregnant with Kiley, the older 3 were at daycare during the day. I was actually in the process of putting stuff away so that I could leave to go pick kids up. I notoriously have my phone on silent, so as I was putting things away, I missed a call from daycare. When I finally grabbed my phone, I saw the missed call and when I was about to hit the button to call back, Dad was calling my phone. I answered and I told him I was just getting in the car to get the kids, and he let me know daycare called and said Zoe had ran into a pole and had a cut on her face. They weren’t sure if she was going to need stitches or not, but felt it was questionable and wanted us to come get her. Being I was on the way, Dad told me to just go get them and head straight to the ER. He was having his mom meet me at the hospital and she was going to take the other 2 kids home while I sat with Zoe. Dad happened to be farming in one of the furthest fields from home, so he knew if he was able to get home, he wouldn’t make it to the hospital very quick.
While I was at the hospital with Zoe, I kept Dad very up to date. I let him know (within minutes of being there) that the Doctor said that they were just going to use a butterfly band-aid and that stitches weren’t necessary. During the times that I spoke to Dad, he told me that he did let DB know.
When the Doctor was taping her cut, Dad had called saying he just got to the house (he was in the tractor) and could drive over to the hospital now if we needed, but Zoe said she was fine and didn’t need him to. Also, we were almost done and were going to leave and be home soon. Zoe was a champ! No tears, no concerns… Just sat there and laughed about what happened.
After stopping to get her ice cream, we went home. Dad let me know that DB was having a giant tantrum because she wasn’t told right away and given the chance to bring her to the doctor instead. (NOTE: She lives even further away than we do.) Dad tries to explain to her that nobody could have gotten her there quicker than I have, that the injury wasn’t that serious, and that he kept her updated like he should. That wasn’t good enough for her.
Unfortunately it was also exchange day and she was coming to pick them up shortly after…. and Dad had to get back out into the field. Like usual, we had our doors locked and when she pulled up, the girls went out to her vehicle. I thought I was in the clear when the girls walked out, but Natalie walked in very quickly after, letting me know that her mom wanted to talk to me.
I walked into the garage where she was standing and she started telling me how she thinks I should have communicated with her and been given the chance to take her child to the doctor. I just sat there listening to her, but then she said “I think we should have each other’s numbers so we can communicate in situations like this”. I nicely let her know that we have each others’ numbers, but that I know she blocked mine after she sent a nasty message a few months prior. I then explained to her that Dad communicated with her, because that’s his job, and that we handled things the best we could in the situation. She started screaming at me, while Natalie sat there pulling at her arm saying “Mom, let’s just go”. She continued to scream and I finally just said “I’m not scared of you. We handled the situation how we should have, and I don’t need to communicate with you. You have called me so many nasty names (which I rattled off to her) and I have zero interest in speaking to you until you can show some respect towards us.” She screamed at me and then slammed the door.
Fast forward to later in the night, Dad and I were sitting in the kitchen with Sierra and DB called Dad. She started yelling at him about how much it hurts that they’re not together anymore (at this point, they’d been divorced for 6 years) and it hurts even worse when these situations happen. She then started telling him she doesn’t even want to hear my name and that it was inappropriate that I took their daughter to the Doctor. THEN… she demanded that she get added to our contract for Emergency Contact for the kids at daycare. We had one contract for our kids, and my child was also on it. She was NOT going to be listed on our contract. She had never and still has never taken the kids to daycare. Dad explained to her that it wasn’t going to happen, that we were not adding her to our contract, and that he contacted her as he should have. He also explained to her that he NEVER gets calls from the school when the kids are sick or something happens, even when it’s his parenting time, because she worked at the school. That, in her eyes, was completely different and acceptable. After Dad still refused to add her, she told us she would be calling the daycare the following day to demand that she be added to their contact list for the kids. (We actually have this entire conversation recorded because we wanted documentation of how crazy she gets, and boy did we get a good one from this!). Our director at daycare assured us that she had no ground to request that, and said that being the contract is in our names, unless we give permission, she will not be added.
This was the day I finally told Dad that she was no longer allowed even in our garage. We had a child in the house and I refused to let our kids have to watch some delusional crazy woman scream at either of her parents.