As I stated in a previous post, both Natalie and Zoe see individual therapists, and no, not the same one. Natalie sees a woman named Karen, and Zoe sees a therapist named Susan. In addition to the individual therapists, Dad takes them to family therapy with a woman named Tammy.
The girls have seen individual therapists for years. I believe Natalie started going at the age of 7 and Zoe started about a year later. Originally, Natalie was recommended (by us) for anxiety she was having. She would get very anxious and complain of stomach aches when DB wouldn’t call her at 7pm (if she had previously told the girls she would be calling). She started getting very anxious about school and taking tests. She also started just getting really anxious about super small things and would lie about everything, so we thought therapy may be a good thing for her. Originally she saw Karen, which was found by DB. After a while, Dad noticed that Karen wasn’t very friendly towards him, but he just pushed that aside and continued to bring Natalie on his scheduled appointments in hopes she’d help Natalie with the anxiety.
One day, we were all sitting at the table. It was 5:25pm and Dad’s phone rang. It was DB asking where he and Natalie were. She then stated that Natalie had a scheduled appointment with Karen and she was there waiting. After some more conversation, it was discovered that DB had made the appointment on Dad’s time, and not only did the therapist allow it, but neither DB nor the therapist let Dad know that the appointment was scheduled. Magically, Karen then messaged Dad, very rudely, to let him know that because of his no-show, he was no longer allowed to make appointments on his days. He tried to explain that if he’s not made aware of the appointment, he doesn’t know how she thinks he’s supposed to show up. It was a mess.
Ultimately, after a while, Dad put Zoe in therapy as well somewhere else, and being Karen wouldn’t take Zoe also, Dad suggested having both girls go somewhere else. It was a fight but it did end up working out that they went elsewhere. This would be a couple years of therapy jumping because the therapist wouldn’t do what DB asked of them, so she would pull the kids. One specific incident, Zoe went in and told the therapist that Dad and I have “cameras all over in the house, including in the bathroom so we can watch them at all times.” Thankfully, this therapist knew better and called to talk to Dad before accusing us or reporting it. Dad explained to her that we have a baby monitor’s in each Sierra’s and Kaley’s bedrooms, and one in the basement toy room (which had only been put there because we had a grill out with a bunch of friends and all of the kids went downstairs, and we wanted a way to keep an eye on them). DB’s plan had failed. We genuinely believe she had told Zoe to say it, because after the fake confession was made by Zoe, then DB made a comment about how concerned she was and that Zoe “told her that a long time ago and it’s really scared her”. I’m a mom. If I hear that from someone that’s around my kids, even if it’s the other parent, you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be calling that person up and questioning them. I’m not waiting “a long time” and just hoping that your young child tells someone else. After that, and after nothing getting done, DB requested a change of therapists.
Next up, Laura. Laura was a good therapist. Kind of quirky but good. We truly believe she could see what was going on. She would communicate with both parents at all times, and she genuinely encouraged the kids to start being open and to communicate with us. At one point, Natalie came to me and, after seeing a lot of improvement in her, she asked if she could stop going to therapy. Her and I had a very good conversation about it, and she told me she felt like Laura had taught her good ways of coping when she was feeling anxious, and she gave her the courage to communicate better. Dad and I agreed that she could quit, with one stipulation. If she started lying, hiding things or getting really anxious again to the point that it started causing problems again, she had to go back. Natalie happily agreed. She gave me a hug, thanked me for listening and understanding, and that was that. Zoe continued to go though.
A few weeks after that, Dad got a phone call from Laura. She said she felt extremely uncomfortable but felt like she had to share with him what had just happened. She had been contacted by DB, who was requesting that Laura write a letter stating that she felt the girls would be much better living with her full time. She told Dad that she told her that she wouldn’t be doing that because that’s not how she feels, and then also explained she’s not a custody evaluator and didn’t feel comfortable being put in that position. Laura felt so uncomfortable that she called Dad after hours because she felt he needed to be warned that DB was trying to do that. Go figure, Laura said no…. so therapy with her magically stopped and DB demanded that the girls just stop therapy all together.
The girls were out of therapy for a while but ultimately had to go back due to rising anxiety. We were told that Natalie was having anxiety attacks and such. That was news to us because when she was at our house, she was happy and helpful. She was always laughing and busy with her sisters. We saw no anxiety other than around taking tests at school. But she was apparently having anxiety attacks at her moms often enough that therapy needed to start again. Unfortunately, DB fought to get Karen back. Dad tried to say no, but he lost that battle.
Now we’re in the situation where Karen refuses to let Dad see any therapy notes from sessions, she won’t update Dad and continues to talk about how being Natalie is a minor, she has to “respect her confidentiality”. The funny thing is DB loves to throw things in Dad’s face, so she often sends screenshots of the therapy notes that Karen has apparently happily send DB when she wants. Yes, Karen sends DB everything and communicates with DB, but refuses to do anything with Dad.
It gets worse…. The reports are wrong. Part of the reports I could see being Natalie making things up. Other parts of the notes are only made by the therapist. They messed up on one specific thing that instantly caught my eye. The problem with Dad being a “no-show” because they scheduled the appointment without telling him, Karen wrote in her notes that it happened on a Wednesday. UH OH! They seemed to have forgotten at that point, we never had the girls Wednesday evenings. They always went back to their mom’s on Tuesdays or Wednesdays at 5pm. If that appointment had been scheduled at 5:30 on a Wednesday, it would have been DB’s mess up because she would have picked them up from our home at 5pm and brought her to the appointment. That’s not what happened.
Another HUGE mistake they made: Karen wrote how Natalie was so terrified because she had “witnessed an assault on her mom by her Dad”. There was an incident between the two, which I can get into at some point, but we have copies of the police reports that show Dad was assaulted. The police reports say nothing was done to DB, but Dad had scratches all over the left side of his face and neck and huge scratches on his back, as well as a ripped shirt. He was the one that was trying to get her to leave the home and she continued to refuse. The cops were called because he wanted her out of the home and she wouldn’t get out. (She was cheating, go figure) Police records indicate who was actually assaulted and Natalie was only 3 at the time, and wasn’t around when it happened. When the argument started, Dad had his parents come take the kids down to their home just so they didn’t have to see or hear fighting. THAT was also in the police report. If that’s not enough proof that this was put into the records by Karen and the manipulation of DB, here’s another one for you. The family therapist confronted Natalie about her having “witnessed the assault” and Natalie had no idea what she was talking about. How is it in her personal records but she doesn’t even know about it? Make it make sense…
Please explain how this therapist has a job.